There is one thing that is stronger than my desire to lose weight and become a healthier person. That one thing is my ability (or lack thereof) to make good decisions on a regular basis. Every day, I psych myself up to keep making the right snack choices and small food portions and then I blow it. I tell myself that I can have an ice cream bar after dinner because it is only 1 WW point. Or, that because I ate really healthy all day, it won’t kill me to have a small side of mac’n’cheese with my grilled chicken for dinner. None of these decisions, in themselves, are that bad.
The reason I chose to go the WW route was so that I didn’t have to completely give up some of my favorites (mac’n’cheese and ice cream bars definitely included). The issue I am struggling with today is that when I allow myself one treat item, it turns into 2 or 3 treat items…and then I spiral down and ruin the whole day (healthy-food-wise).
I am trying to decide what to do with my struggle. Should I reign in my allowable foods for a time, until I have changed my habits to include almost completely healthy foods on a consistent basis? Should I just try to do better today than I did yesterday? I don’t want to limit myself so harshly that I start to hate the very thing I am trying to make part of my new lifestyle. I just don’t know and I’m having a down day.
Today isn’t going to help either. We are having a St. Patrick’s Day luncheon, and I know there are absolutely NO foods downstairs that are on the “good food” list. If I can make it to 4:30 without devouring 7 cookies and half a bowl of dip with chips, I am going to consider it a success…in fact, I have decided to allow myself ONE cookie (only because they are my FAVORITE kind) and I will take itsy bitsy portions of whatever else is lurking down there. Tonight for dinner, I will make a good, healthy decision of some sort after running and I will look forward to doing MUCH better tomorrow.
I know weight loss isn’t easy and I know this post is really just a whine-fest, so I’m sorry. I just feel like I should document how I’m feeling on a not-so-great day. That way, the next time I feel down and think I’m going to give up- I can look back and see how far I have (hopefully) come by then! Here’s hopin’!
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stop beating yourself up sweet friend. this is a journey and it takes time to learn and adjust. you'll find your way soon enough. you just need to decide if now is the time for you to do this. in our normal daily life, satan is always there tempting us to sin, the same thing will happen when we try to be healthy and change our habits. someone or something will always knock us down, or we'll give into our own temptations... but we have to choose what to do. so, just choose... healthy or not. you can do this! you really can!
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